Spark 11 Poem - Matryoshka

Get Sparked Round 11 has begun! I hashed out a quick poem this morning for my partner. I feel bad it was so rushed. I had a LOT of ideas and had to consciously force myself not to slip into some horrible Dr. Seussian rhyme scheme. I went through the first two or three stanzas a number of times before I took a breath, erased it all, and started fresh. It's funny, and maybe more amazing than funny, how one idea which was turning out so terrible morphed into something so much better so quickly. And I mean quickly. Between re-reading and re-writing and just a little bit of editing (as always, could use more editing and polishing) it took me no more than 40 minutes total. Without further adieu, here is my Spark 11 inspiration piece:

 Matryoshka 

Each day dragging

more than the last,

I open myself with hopes

of finding a little more

motivation.

Yet each treasure that

I find inside the next,

one after another

becomes smaller,

inconceivably more delicate.

Tiny and beautiful,

gilded ornaments

so fragile

my hand shakes

they drop

and shatter.

I sweep up the pieces

but there aren’t instruments

small enough

to repair the valuable baubles.

But one golden seed survived,

so gently I hold it and place it

deep within myself

and continue on.

The seed is nurtured,

grows each layer again over itself

slowly.

Until all is restored

and I get to play the game

again.

©Elizabeth Cordes, 2011

This Title Sucks

How can I keep coming up with different titles for my blog posts, when really the only one that fits 90% of the time is "Gosh I haven't updated in a while. Here's some news." That's basically what it all boils down to. Which means I'm not a very good blogger.

Tomorrow starts the newest round of Get Sparked! My partner and I have chosen to be partners again since we've found so much inspiration in each others' works and will be collaborating on hopefully many future projects. I'm excited! Though I've left writing a new poem for her to the very last minute as usual. I'm sure I'll be able to come up with something fantastic late tonight (if I can manage to stay up later than 9:00!).

On another strand, I'm a little more than half way through "Journey to the Centre of the Earth." I'm enjoying it immensely! It makes me sad to think that I nearly forgot how much I love reading. I used to be a voracious reader, but over the past few years that has definitely changed. So many other things to do that I feel like when I'm reading I should really be up doing other things. Having Caelyn to take care of doesn't help the cause for reading either. Reading has become a leisurely luxury that almost makes me feel guilty for doing it. How horrible! I must put time aside for reading, just as I've been putting aside time to crochet. Though crocheting is a little easier since I will have something tangible to show for it when I'm done. Reading? Not so much.

On yet another strand, I've paused my Insanity work outs to focus on what I specifically need to work on in order to pass the APFT that I have to take on the 25th. Push ups, sit ups, and a 2-mile run. I'm on course right now; I ran on the treadmill this morning and I'm feeling pretty confident about it. If I can keep it up I'll have no trouble passing.

And, last thing I figure I should mention... My diploma is en route! I checked the status and it was mailed yesterday, woohoo! I was an official college graduate as of January 31st, but it will be even more official once I have that all-important piece of paper in my hands. And my parents ordered a diploma frame for it (as a birthday present). It's on back order, but I'll get it eventually, and like I told my mom, my diploma won't go bad waiting for its frame.

Sleep

I'm having trouble with sleep. No, I'm not having trouble getting to sleep - in fact, that's the issue. I'm falling asleep. Not during the day, but at night. And what's the problem with that, you may ask. The problem is that I'm going to sleep way too early and getting too much sleep. Now, most people wouldn't really count this as a huge problem, but this is happening pretty much every night. I'm 28, not 8. I don't need 10 hours of sleep. Yes, you read right: 10 hours of sleep. Or pretty damn close to that.

Here's the problem: Caelyn. Yes. Well, mostly. It's her fault, but it being her fault is my fault. We are still sharing a bedroom (at first because I hadn't finished painting her room, and really can't paint now until spring when we can open the windows, and now because the window is cracked so the room is pretty much extra storage for boxes we haven't unpacked yet). Her little toddler bed is in my room, but she doesn't sleep in it. (Yet). Which is my fault.

Bed time for Caelyn is around 8:00. Give or take. Then we read some books. Which usually brings us to around 8:30. Sleep time. We lay in bed together (more room now that I have a full bed), and she falls asleep in a matter of minutes. No problem. Now, I should stay up and get out of bed and do other stuff after that because I really don't need to fall asleep at 8:30-9:00. But I do. I think to myself, "Ok, I'll just wait a few more minutes to make sure she's really asleep," because if I don't, me getting out of bed may wake her up, OR, she may roll over and realize I'm not there, then wake up and scream her head off because Mommy 'disappeared.' So I wait a few more minutes, and in those two minutes in which I am waiting, I fall asleep.

In my defense, I do feel really sleepy at 9:00, but that's probably mostly due to the fact that I've gotten used to falling asleep at 9:00. I think this needs to stop. I'm getting too much sleep. I wake up around 2:00am and feel like it's time to get up, but it's not, and I go back to sleep and then feel even more sleepy when it actually IS time to wake up.

Here are my solutions:
1. Start putting Caelyn in her little bed after she is asleep so it forces me to get up, and gets her used to waking up in a different bed other than mine.
2. Start trying to get Caelyn to fall asleep in her own bed instead of in mine, that way me not being there won't be an issue to begin with. This one will be even harder than the first solution.
3. Get her own room set up so she can actually sleep in it, that way I don't have to worry about her in my bed AT ALL. This is the ultimate solution, but I won't be able to do this until A. The window gets fixed, and B. It gets warmer out so I can open the window so I can paint.

Also, would like enough extra cash to put down a decent floor in there (I'm thinking laminate and a nice big area rug), since right now it's really awful tiles that are 3 layers deep and peeling away.

Or, I could just set an alarm for 9:00pm to wake myself up and remind me to NOT fall asleep. I really wanted to do some reading last night, and I really really was trying to stay awake, and the next thing I know, I'm looking at my phone and it's 2:00am. Not cool. Hopefully in the next week or so I will be able to change this.

And speaking of change, watch out for my next blog in which I whine about Insanity. That is all.

In the Last 2 Weeks...

I have had a few adventures! Well, not really as exciting as all that. Last week I was going to write a nice post about waking up and seeing my hamster run across the kitchen, and the ensuing rescue. But I didn't for whatever reason. Now I'm just not up to relating the story again (especially since when I told Caelyn the story no less than 6 times, the last few with her acting the part of the hamster).

I've also been working on special Valentine's Day goodies for Caelyn's class. I got a little ambitious and am crocheting book worm bookmarks, then I went a step further and decided to do personalized felt hearts to attach to the bookmarks and so I had to get the felt, puff pain, glitter writer, and of course the googly eyes and tiny pompoms and tacky glue for the little book worms. I've got 7 days to make 21 bookworms. That's an even 3 a day. At least they're not hard and they don't take very long to make!

I skipped Insanity today. And for the past 3 days. Today was supposed to be the 3rd Fit Test and the first day of the "Max" workouts. I was looking forward to it last week, but today my fight with myself resulted in just getting dressed and coming down to the 'office' and checking email, perusing Facebook, and downloading a ringtones app on my phone. So far not too impressed.

I did get my default bank checks for my new bank account last week which means now I can order some fancy new designer checks. I'm thinking either Sushi or Ice Cream. I'm leaning toward ice cream, since it's a bit more universal than sushi. Though I do really love sushi.

That's it for now. I really need to do better at blogging more often. I find myself thinking about writing for this blog, then NOT doing it. Then when I DO blog, I forget half the stuff I wanted to write about, and not wanting to write about the other half I wanted to write about. This must change.