Friday Night @ home

Not that that in itself is unusual. I'm generally at home, or close to home, on a Friday night, even when Caelyn is gone with her father for the weekend. Mostly I'm home tonight because I have to get up ass-early to be AT Ft. T. at 0530. Suck! But other than that, yeah, I'd probably be at home anyway. Maybe not IN bed (which is where I'm typing this from, on my NETBOOK), but at home, being lazy playing pokemon (which I still might do if I can't fall asleep after I'm done here).

But I digress. My bottom line feelings tonight are sad emptiness. It happens every other week. Caelyn spends Friday night-Sunday evening with her father. I usually feel this "Yes some ME time!" euphoria after the initial "Aw, my baby is GONE!" feelings subside. I enjoy my time to myself (even though a lot of times I have to spend my "free" weekends with the 319th), and by the end of the weekend I'm pacing in front of the door waiting for her to fly back into my arms.

Tonight, the "missing my baby" feelings have not subsided. I can't really say why exactly. She left, and I didn't get that excited rush of adrenaline that comes with not having to watch her out of the corner of my eye every second. It's gotten me pretty down. I'm hoping the BS I'm sure to face in the morning will at least help to distract me, but that's questionable. Maybe it's because I don't have anything that I HAVE to occupy my time with, like avoiding school work and what-not. Either way, I'm really not liking feeling this down on a Friday night. Sorry to be such a downer. Hopefully my next post will be more upbeat.