Spark 11 Poem - Matryoshka

Get Sparked Round 11 has begun! I hashed out a quick poem this morning for my partner. I feel bad it was so rushed. I had a LOT of ideas and had to consciously force myself not to slip into some horrible Dr. Seussian rhyme scheme. I went through the first two or three stanzas a number of times before I took a breath, erased it all, and started fresh. It's funny, and maybe more amazing than funny, how one idea which was turning out so terrible morphed into something so much better so quickly. And I mean quickly. Between re-reading and re-writing and just a little bit of editing (as always, could use more editing and polishing) it took me no more than 40 minutes total. Without further adieu, here is my Spark 11 inspiration piece:

 Matryoshka 

Each day dragging

more than the last,

I open myself with hopes

of finding a little more

motivation.

Yet each treasure that

I find inside the next,

one after another

becomes smaller,

inconceivably more delicate.

Tiny and beautiful,

gilded ornaments

so fragile

my hand shakes

they drop

and shatter.

I sweep up the pieces

but there aren’t instruments

small enough

to repair the valuable baubles.

But one golden seed survived,

so gently I hold it and place it

deep within myself

and continue on.

The seed is nurtured,

grows each layer again over itself

slowly.

Until all is restored

and I get to play the game

again.

©Elizabeth Cordes, 2011

This Title Sucks

How can I keep coming up with different titles for my blog posts, when really the only one that fits 90% of the time is "Gosh I haven't updated in a while. Here's some news." That's basically what it all boils down to. Which means I'm not a very good blogger.

Tomorrow starts the newest round of Get Sparked! My partner and I have chosen to be partners again since we've found so much inspiration in each others' works and will be collaborating on hopefully many future projects. I'm excited! Though I've left writing a new poem for her to the very last minute as usual. I'm sure I'll be able to come up with something fantastic late tonight (if I can manage to stay up later than 9:00!).

On another strand, I'm a little more than half way through "Journey to the Centre of the Earth." I'm enjoying it immensely! It makes me sad to think that I nearly forgot how much I love reading. I used to be a voracious reader, but over the past few years that has definitely changed. So many other things to do that I feel like when I'm reading I should really be up doing other things. Having Caelyn to take care of doesn't help the cause for reading either. Reading has become a leisurely luxury that almost makes me feel guilty for doing it. How horrible! I must put time aside for reading, just as I've been putting aside time to crochet. Though crocheting is a little easier since I will have something tangible to show for it when I'm done. Reading? Not so much.

On yet another strand, I've paused my Insanity work outs to focus on what I specifically need to work on in order to pass the APFT that I have to take on the 25th. Push ups, sit ups, and a 2-mile run. I'm on course right now; I ran on the treadmill this morning and I'm feeling pretty confident about it. If I can keep it up I'll have no trouble passing.

And, last thing I figure I should mention... My diploma is en route! I checked the status and it was mailed yesterday, woohoo! I was an official college graduate as of January 31st, but it will be even more official once I have that all-important piece of paper in my hands. And my parents ordered a diploma frame for it (as a birthday present). It's on back order, but I'll get it eventually, and like I told my mom, my diploma won't go bad waiting for its frame.

Sleep

I'm having trouble with sleep. No, I'm not having trouble getting to sleep - in fact, that's the issue. I'm falling asleep. Not during the day, but at night. And what's the problem with that, you may ask. The problem is that I'm going to sleep way too early and getting too much sleep. Now, most people wouldn't really count this as a huge problem, but this is happening pretty much every night. I'm 28, not 8. I don't need 10 hours of sleep. Yes, you read right: 10 hours of sleep. Or pretty damn close to that.

Here's the problem: Caelyn. Yes. Well, mostly. It's her fault, but it being her fault is my fault. We are still sharing a bedroom (at first because I hadn't finished painting her room, and really can't paint now until spring when we can open the windows, and now because the window is cracked so the room is pretty much extra storage for boxes we haven't unpacked yet). Her little toddler bed is in my room, but she doesn't sleep in it. (Yet). Which is my fault.

Bed time for Caelyn is around 8:00. Give or take. Then we read some books. Which usually brings us to around 8:30. Sleep time. We lay in bed together (more room now that I have a full bed), and she falls asleep in a matter of minutes. No problem. Now, I should stay up and get out of bed and do other stuff after that because I really don't need to fall asleep at 8:30-9:00. But I do. I think to myself, "Ok, I'll just wait a few more minutes to make sure she's really asleep," because if I don't, me getting out of bed may wake her up, OR, she may roll over and realize I'm not there, then wake up and scream her head off because Mommy 'disappeared.' So I wait a few more minutes, and in those two minutes in which I am waiting, I fall asleep.

In my defense, I do feel really sleepy at 9:00, but that's probably mostly due to the fact that I've gotten used to falling asleep at 9:00. I think this needs to stop. I'm getting too much sleep. I wake up around 2:00am and feel like it's time to get up, but it's not, and I go back to sleep and then feel even more sleepy when it actually IS time to wake up.

Here are my solutions:
1. Start putting Caelyn in her little bed after she is asleep so it forces me to get up, and gets her used to waking up in a different bed other than mine.
2. Start trying to get Caelyn to fall asleep in her own bed instead of in mine, that way me not being there won't be an issue to begin with. This one will be even harder than the first solution.
3. Get her own room set up so she can actually sleep in it, that way I don't have to worry about her in my bed AT ALL. This is the ultimate solution, but I won't be able to do this until A. The window gets fixed, and B. It gets warmer out so I can open the window so I can paint.

Also, would like enough extra cash to put down a decent floor in there (I'm thinking laminate and a nice big area rug), since right now it's really awful tiles that are 3 layers deep and peeling away.

Or, I could just set an alarm for 9:00pm to wake myself up and remind me to NOT fall asleep. I really wanted to do some reading last night, and I really really was trying to stay awake, and the next thing I know, I'm looking at my phone and it's 2:00am. Not cool. Hopefully in the next week or so I will be able to change this.

And speaking of change, watch out for my next blog in which I whine about Insanity. That is all.

In the Last 2 Weeks...

I have had a few adventures! Well, not really as exciting as all that. Last week I was going to write a nice post about waking up and seeing my hamster run across the kitchen, and the ensuing rescue. But I didn't for whatever reason. Now I'm just not up to relating the story again (especially since when I told Caelyn the story no less than 6 times, the last few with her acting the part of the hamster).

I've also been working on special Valentine's Day goodies for Caelyn's class. I got a little ambitious and am crocheting book worm bookmarks, then I went a step further and decided to do personalized felt hearts to attach to the bookmarks and so I had to get the felt, puff pain, glitter writer, and of course the googly eyes and tiny pompoms and tacky glue for the little book worms. I've got 7 days to make 21 bookworms. That's an even 3 a day. At least they're not hard and they don't take very long to make!

I skipped Insanity today. And for the past 3 days. Today was supposed to be the 3rd Fit Test and the first day of the "Max" workouts. I was looking forward to it last week, but today my fight with myself resulted in just getting dressed and coming down to the 'office' and checking email, perusing Facebook, and downloading a ringtones app on my phone. So far not too impressed.

I did get my default bank checks for my new bank account last week which means now I can order some fancy new designer checks. I'm thinking either Sushi or Ice Cream. I'm leaning toward ice cream, since it's a bit more universal than sushi. Though I do really love sushi.

That's it for now. I really need to do better at blogging more often. I find myself thinking about writing for this blog, then NOT doing it. Then when I DO blog, I forget half the stuff I wanted to write about, and not wanting to write about the other half I wanted to write about. This must change.

Gilded Fish

In anticipation of the next upcoming SPARK round, and because I've been in contact with someone and looking forward to some art/poetry collaborations, I figured it was about time to sit down and try and get back into the groove. For some reason I feel naturally drawn to write in ballad meter. Not sure why. I guess I like the sing-songy nature of the prosody, and I feel an overwhelming urge to rhyme when I write poetry, so in both respects it works. Though it is really annoying when I try to write something more free and I wind up relegating myself to a regular meter like this.

Anyway, I tapped this out, very rough, but I kinda like it. I think because ballad sort of sounds very old-fashioned, so my wording and grammar turns out a little old-fashioned, too. It fits. Any comments would be appreciated, if you liked it, didn't like it, suggestions on how to make it better, parts that weren't very readable, and keep in mind this is the first draft (that is, if I ever re-write it. If I don't, this is the first and only draft!). Whatever the case, I hope you enjoy:

Gilded Fish


Little gilded fish
dressed in shining scales
golden ones above her brow
and silver on her tail

Swim, fish, swim
across the ocean vast
Swim, fish, swim
to arrive at home at last.

The current swept her far away
into many perils anew
and though her fears were mighty strong
she was stronger and swam through

A deviled canyon met her eyes
bubbles rising from the pit
she tightly shut those gleaming eyes
and swam right over it.

Swim, fish, swim
across the ocean vast
Swim, fish, swim
to arrive at home at last.

Tentacles reached out to pull
her in their squirming grip
she swiftly swished her shining tail
and out of reach she slipped.

A school of fish she then did cross
following the current
with them she did swim along
until her strength was spent.

Swim, fish, swim
across the ocean vast
swim, fish, swim
to arrive at home at last.

Tired and sore she had to rest
before her fins gave out
a rocky cave she snuck inside
then heard a mighty shout.

A slithering eel disclosed himself
and snapped his jaws so mean
but gilded fish was much too quick
the fastest he had seen.

Swim, fish, swim
across the ocean vast
swim, fish, swim
to arrive at home at last.

Exhausted was the little fish
she merely drifted on
no more swimming could she do
'til she heard a familiar song.

“Shining scales in sunlight
glimmering in moon.
Coral for your playground
night time comes too soon.

Sleep, sleep my little fish
a night rest you must take
and mother’s fin will hold you safe
Til the morning when you wake.”

Mama fish pulled her in
and kissed her glittering cheek
and gilded fish she settled down
for about a week.

Swim, fish, swim
across the ocean vast
swim, fish, swim
she arrived at home at last

Life went back to normal
or so the mama thought
the little fish remained uneasy
and dreamed of what she sought.

The ocean placed a longing
deep within her heart
in her reef she could not stay
she knew that she would part

from all the things she used to know
and all the things she loved
to find her place among the waves
whether beneath them or above.

She no longer feared the open sea
that had shaken her quivering core
now she gladly did embrace it
and went swimming back for more.

Swim, fish, swim
into the ocean vast
swim, fish, swim
to arrive at home at last.

© Elizabeth Cordes, 2011

It's Snowing. Again!

It seems snowing is the "norm" here in the North Country. I am now convinced that when the weather report says 70% chance of snow, it REALLY means that it will snow at least 70% of the day. The last two days have been sunny (weird!). So sunny, in fact, that some of the snow cover started to melt enough to be able to make a snowman! Me and Caelyn went out after school yesterday and rolled together a boy snowman and a girl snowman (snowoman?).

At any rate, it was almost a relief to see it starting to snow this morning as I was working out to the Plyometrics and Cardio Circuit DVD. It went well. I made it through the warm-up and the first circuit set better than the first time, but really pooped out on the second circuit set. I also definitely sweated a lot more than when I did the same one last week. I think it's because we turned up the heat a little in the living room in the mornings, so instead of jumping around in 58 degrees, it was a balmy 65. I had to crack the door open a bit for a breeze to cool myself off! I also had to pause the video in the middle to get myself some more water.

I did skip Sunday's and Monday's workouts, mostly because Caelyn was home on Monday, and I wanted to move my rest day back to Sunday so I could follow the Insanity calendar how it was written. So, yes, I did skip two workouts. But I jumped back on yesterday and did the prescribed video and hopefully will keep it up. I also got my uncle's old treadmill in the basement now. I need to hook it up and see if I can get it running; it's an old clunker from like, 15 years ago. So when I get it running I'll be doing that as well as Insanity in the AM.

On the craft side, I am almost finished the second set of blocks for the Crochet-a-long blanket I've resolved myself to finish. Two more double crochet blocks, and then it's on to treble crochet in the next color! Woo! I'm excited about this blanket. The first block set took so long; I think because it takes more rows of single crochet to make 9 inches than double crochets. More rows=more time. So I expect the next block set to take even shorter. I will have to find my camera and take some pictures. Can't wait to have all the blocks done and get it sewed together!

Exercising and Crocheting

It's been a while since my last post. I apologize! Today I started the Beach Body Insanity work out dvd's again today. It kicked my butt! I made it through the "warm-up" and skipped the following stretches because the bottoms of my feet were sore. Time to get some gel inserts or something! But I picked it up again and pushed through to the end. I won't get into the details. I don't want to make this an exercise blog or anything.

What I did do after the work-out was crochet! Yes. I am very happy to be crocheting again. Finally dug out my yarn for the crochet-along I started WAY back when and decided to finish it. So I sat and relaxed while watching this Australian cartoon on HUB (Dennis and Gnasher. Pretty much like an Australian version of Dennis the Menace) and crocheted for about 20 minutes. It's an easy enough pattern (uhhh, straight double crochet. Easy peasy) that I can put down and pick up very quickly without having to worry about losing my place or finding where I left off.

And speaking of crocheting, I finally finished the damn scarf I've been working on! It's so pretty, but I wish I had another skein to make it longer. I don't like scarves that are too short to wrap around my neck twice. Any shorter and they just seem to unwind and fall off. It's also a bit scratchy. The yarn felt so soft when it was all balled up, but once I worked it up it still feels kinda soft on my hands, but around my neck is much more sensitive and it made me all itchy. Maybe I'll try to sell it. I do have an Etsy account that I haven't yet utilized. I did buy another skein of the same yarn but in black and white instead of the gray and pink I had. I'll make another one and sell both of them. Whee!

But I'm determined to finish this darn blanket, and then my mom has another blanket that she started that I want to finish. It's kinda springy, blues and purples and greens, with dragonflies worked on some blocks. Very pretty! I've seen the yarn in a bag sitting in the hall every time I go up or down the stairs and it makes me want to just take it out and do it! But I'm going to finish the crochet-along first.

And that's about it. Peace out.